When you’re in the beginning stages of meeting people (whether that’s through the dating apps or in-person) it’s okay to be talking to multiple people at once.
Well for starters, you’re not committed to any single person yet..you’re not exclusive with one person.
You’re still in the process of getting to know them and deciding if you like that person and if they even like you.
Now the number of people you’re willing to date or court at the beginning depends on what you’re comfortable with.
Could it be 2 people, 3, 4 , 5?
It’s your choice but here’s what you want to look out for.
If you’re dating (not in a relationship) with multiple women, you need to understand the time and commitment this is going to take.
It takes energy, time, and money to take women out, text them, talk to them on the phone, etc..
If you notice your quality (the way you show up) is deteriorating or that you’re unable to manage talking to a few women at once, is it completely okay to focus your energy on one woman at a time.
There is nothing wrong with investing your energy into one woman and seeing where it goes.
Why is this not the standard?
Well a lot of people are casual daters, have anxious or avoidant attachment styles, or are looking for attention and free dinners and don’t genuinely want to invest in a long-term relationship.
Besides that, it takes a few dates to know how well you truly vibe with someone..
So the tactic has since been to talk to multiple people until you see who you truly like, who likes you, and keeping your options open until you’re truly invested in going exclusive with one person.
Until then, you can expect both men and women to be dating a few people at the same time.
It’s important to note here, that dating and courting multiple women at once doesn’t mean you have a side chick who you know is not good for you but you keep around any way.
That’s not what I’m talking about.
If you’re looking for a serious long-term monogamous relationship, the women you’re courting should all meet your standards and be a potential high quality partner. As soon as you decide she is not marriage material, you need to do the kind (yet painful) work of ending that relationship with her.
As soon as you know one of the women you’re dating is standing out more than the others, you need to have a conversation with her. How does she feel in the relationship? Is she excited to date you long term? Is she willing to go exclusive at some point (you can decide when that should be)?
The last thing we want to do is string any woman along as a side piece so we can feel good about our self.
An unfortunate thing that happens during this process is that men and women stretch themself too thin. They’re desperate or fear commitment and therefore feel the need to talk to multiple people which sabotages their communication and their quality of dating….ultimately leaving no woman to fall for them.
Don’t let this be you.
The quality of your dating matters so much more than the quantity of people.
Keep this in check and let your dating journey be enjoyable, informative, and a process which you grow from….not a process you dread.
The courting process which starts as soon as you match with a woman or meet her in person is where the magic happens. You should be excited to take her out, get to know her, and discover more of her.
If you’re having trouble managing your emotions around dating multiple women or even just one…shoot me an email at email@example.com
If you’re confused on the courting process or how to meet women, let’s work together.
We’re not taught this and having a coach by your side makes it so much easier.